Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
