if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
