You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
