i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
