Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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