Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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