and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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