Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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