I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
