Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My liver just had a heart attack.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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