I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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