LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
