Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
