apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
