Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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