i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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