I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize