I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Randomize
