I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
