that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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