so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
