why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
