And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i think my cat just said my name.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
