We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
