No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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