They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
