i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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