I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
