so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
