i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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