Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
