remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
