Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
