I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
