just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
