i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
