i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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