We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Boobs speak an international language.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
