i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It's Friday. Sex?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
