Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
