i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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