I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
