K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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