so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Shame - the story of my life.
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