i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
