I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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