It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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