I'm jealous of your bromance
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
