I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
