no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
