just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We're too hungover to prance.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
