i jhust puked up my retainher.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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