My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
