Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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