and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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