please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
