C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
this hospital has no fireball
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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