he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
