I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
