guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
